The Reiter Coaching Letter - 12/04/01

The Reiter Coaching Letter

For Creating the Life You Want

Reader Contributions

www.stevereiter.com

January 1, 2002

The following words were written or contributed by one or more readers of the Reiter Coaching Letter in the period since the previous newsletter. These contributors have been identified with permission. If you should wish to communicate with one of the them, please e-mail me. I will forward your request.

The Perfect Gift
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown
It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no
inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree at this time of the year for the past 10 years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas. Oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the
commercial aspects of it. You know, the overspending, the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie
for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma, the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of
anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached
for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.

Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended. Shortly before
Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner city church. The kids were
mostly black.

These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them
together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new
wrestling shoes.

As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without head gear, a kind of light
helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears. It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously couldn't afford. Well, we
ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he
swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a
lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids-all kids. He
understood kids in competitive situations, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's
when the idea for his present came.

That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and
shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the
tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me.

His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I
followed the tradition - one year sending a group of mentally challenged youngsters to a hockey game, another
year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas - on
and on...

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning
and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the
envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. Still,
the story doesn't end there.

You see, we lost Mike last year due to cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that
I barely got the tree up. Yet Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was
joined by three more. Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for
their dad.

The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further, with our grandchildren standing around the tree
with wide-eyed anticipation, watching as their fathers take down their envelopes.

Mike's spirit, like the spirit of Christmas, will always be with us.

Want more satisfaction and fulfillment in your life? Looking to simplify your day-to-day living? I can help. To explore the value of Life Coaching for you, call 315-472-0504 for a complimentary coaching session. Or e-mail to: coach@stevereiter.com, or visit my web site at
<a href=http://www.stevereiter.com>Click</a>

The Reiter Coaching Letter is published by Steve Reiter on the first and third Tuesday of each month. The purpose is to challenge you and support you in creating success and fulfillment throughout your life.

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Unless otherwise indicated, all content is written and edited by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC. You are welcome to republish any or all parts of this newsletter; I ask only that you honor the copyright by including full acknowledgment and a listing of my contact information (name, e-mail, web site).