Re: 12/4/01 Letter: Asking for help.

Dear Steve,
I 've been getting some knocks on the head over the years when my body won't do the things I need done. I mean the "pay-attention" kind of knocks.

When I had to ask to have my furniture hauled over the two years of moving, and now when I have to find a way to get myself places after dark, and even years before that having low energy, I have leaned on my friends. It's an odd thing that goes with a feeling of helplessness.
Not all bad when I can tolerate it. Sometimes I get irritable. Yes, like old, sick people get. There's an "ah ha" in that.

Having to ask for help and having an "excuse" is different from "choosing" to ask for help. But there are some similarities: About the myth of being able to do everything yourself as equal to being able to hold your head up. About habits that get us to a place we didn't know they'd take us.

I was a do-everything-by-myself person. That's part of the cosmic joke, the hit-on-the-head, pay-attention thing for me. Have I learned to choose differently? I'm probably not smart enough to do that. I think if I had more energy, if my knees were better what I'd do is learn to skateboard or rollerblade. Those are not community activities exactly, are they? So, I probably haven't learned much. But I do love it when I ask for help and people, like you, are loving and generous. Thanks for the rides, the help on the
computer, and the newsletter.

Love Elinor

Steve,
This newsletter resonates with me BIG TIME. I often (more like always)
feel burdened by the need to do it all! Housework, schoolwork, consulting
work, ... even family time seems like work--gotta help with homework, buy
presents, take allison to colleges, help with applications, etc. etc. I am
stressed by all this! Where am i now and What have i forgotten? Ugh!
OK. Well, I am going to organize a party and I am NOT going to do it
alone. So. That is my assertion for today.

Don Hughes

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Re: Large personal/cultural shift as a consequence of 9/11 disaster. Comments and Poem.

Steve,

Even though it is not spring yet, this poem (below) has been ringing through my ears since 9-11.

When I came back from a two week crisis intervention assignment with corporations needing help to get their business's rehabilitated, I felt that a shift had occurred in the way I use my energy. I'm no longer worrying about rejection, or afraid that I will be imposing my thoughts on others, unsolicited.

On reflection, I think I have fallen into a rut of letting life "do" me, rather than being actively involved outside of myself; almost waiting for something to show up. My involvement with my friends, family and community has been satisfactory. I happily take responsibility for my part in relationships. I have been living in my comfort zone, a place where I am always in charge of my decisions. My decision-maker doesn't stray outside the box very often, and begins to feel overworked and underpaid, resentful of having the whole burden for the tasks I take on!

I think the events in NYC were a "wakeup call" for our whole nation, and perhaps the planet itself. [The poet Christopher] Fry put such a succinct spin on it: "Affairs are now soul size". How far out do we reach when we are coming from our soul space? Infinite possibilities!

Gretchen Tierson is a therapist, Life Coach and seminar leader in Fayetteville, NY.

A Sleep of Prisoners

The human heart can go to the lengths of God.
Dark and cold we may be, but this
Is no winter now. The frozen misery
Of centuries breaks, cracks, begins to move.
The thunder is the thunder of the floes,
The thaw, the flood, the upstart Spring.
Thank God our time is now when wrong
Comes up to face us everywhere,
Never to leave us till we take
The longest stride of soul men ever took.
Affairs are now soul size
The enterprise
Is exploration into God.
Where are you making for? It takes
So many thousand years to wake,
But will you wake for pity's sake?

-- Christopher Fry

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