The Reiter Coaching Letter Supporting Success in Academe
Issue 39	www.stevereiter.com	August 19, 2003

Carpe Diem Where is delight?  and what are pleasures now? -- Moths that a garment fret.                              -- Mary Coleridge Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.                              -- Anonymous Dear Reader, My family and I just got back from a week at Letchworth State Park, about 25 miles south of Rochester, NY. Letchworth is known as the Grand Canyon of the East, and is well worth a visit if you have the chance. Carpe Dam It poured pigs and horses the day we arrived (that's a lot more than mere cats and dogs), and the Genesee River, which cut the gorge, was raging. They told us it was the third highest water level since 1972, when Hurricane Agnes dumped 18 inches of rain which almost breached the dam. What an experience! It rained for two more days, though not nearly as hard nor as persistently. Our little, rustic cabin -- thank goodness we decided not to stay in our tent -- was a bit muddy, but it didn't leak. And on August 14th, the night of the blackout in much of the northeast, , we were not all that inconvenienced. "Beware strangers bearing cheesecake." Friends of ours had come to celebrate my upcoming birthday and to stay the night... and they brought cheesecake. Yum. Not wanting the many remaining pieces to spoil, I went from cabin to cabin giving away cheesecake to folks whom we had come to know during our short stay, as well as to some others whom I was meeting for the first time. Lessons Learned Both the enormous amount of rain and the unexpected loss of electric power could have been the defining moments in a dreadful vacation week. Instead, each brought distinct opportunities and pleasures. I wish it were true that I have always had this ability to notice the good and interesting in what is. Or even that, at this time in my life, I do it with regularity. Ain't so. But what a difference it makes when I can. Your Turn Take a sheet of writing paper. Draw two lines down the page, dividing it into three columns. Write the numbers "1" to "20" down the left margin. Down the left column, quickly write down 20 of your regular and frequent complaints or gripes. Big or small, it doesn't matter. (example: It's raining!) Now, down the middle column, quickly list the disappointment this represents. (example: I won't be able to ride the trails or swim.) Now, down the right column, just as quickly list the opportunity that lies waiting. (examples: I have more snuggle time with my daughter; I can slow down; I can take day-trips to indoor places we would not likely visit; I get to revel in the power of the water.) Then highlight the top three biggest disappointments. What would change in your life if you were able to regularly refocus your attention onto the opportunities imbedded within these disappointments? Choose to start with one, two, or all three. Set up some way to stay attentive to the disappointments you chose. What will bring them to your attention on a regular basis? Is it a sign on your bathroom mirror? A pop-up reminder on your computer or PDA? A gentle reminder from a supportive friend, partner, or coach? Record your thoughts and feelings associated with the area(s) of focus so you'll be able to track how this has shifted for you over time. If you would like some support in the transition, wish to share your thoughts, or have a question, give me a jingle.  I'd love to hear from you. To your success -       Steve