The Reiter Coaching Letter Supporting Success in Academe
Issue 38	www.stevereiter.com	August 5, 2003

Show Yourself For Success You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.                              --  Colette How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something, but (instead) someone."                              -- Coco Chanel Dear Reader, Before we get started on today's topic, I have one more quote to add to those I gave you in the 7/21/03 issue on Perfectionism.  I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.                              -- Anne LaMott                                 Bird By Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life It may not be true for you.  But then again... And now, let's move on to today's topic: Show Yourself for Success. Reveal yourself in your work as well as your play.  Not only will people take notice, you will have more fun and achieve your goals more quickly. Think about it. Whom do you remember? Is it the person who fits in, who makes no waves, and who disappears in the crowd? Or is it the one who displays the fullness of his being, who shows her quirks, or who is willing to express unique, perhaps controversial ideas? When have you felt most alive, vibrant, and connected? What were you doing? Who were you being? A simple example: When I was thinking of creating this newsletter, I struggled with format, content, and style. I wanted it to be like "the others," so I would have the success of the others. But I stalled. It was only when I read a comment from another fledgling newsletter writer who was running out of steam.  Paraphrasing, she said, "Finally, I decided to write what I was interested in writing and to write it my way. And it just started to flow." So I decided to write my newsletter, the one which only I could write. And it flowed easily.  I was no longer second-guessing myself. The secret: Let yourself show up. Your readers want to see you, not just what you think they want to read. Your colleagues want to know they're dealing with a whole human being. Your advisees want to know that you make mistakes, take chances, and have a heart and soul. And your advisors want to know that you are fully present, that you're really showing up and that you want to be here. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more.                            --  Erica Jong As you read this, are you thinking, "No way!? If so, ask yourself what's stopping you. Is it something about you, or is it the toxicity of your environment from which you're protecting yourself? Is there anyone successfully "showing up" in the same environment? If so, what makes it possible for this person to succeed? What can you learn about yourself here? Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.                             -- Ambrose Redmoon If you're ready to experiment with this, but still feel some fear in doing so, decide what one thing you can do to move in this direction... something you know will give you a taste of what it can be like, but which will not immobilize you in terror. Is it to reveal your sense of humor? Your warmth? Your preferences in clothing or food? Your pet theory? Your politics? Your love of checkers? Is it to write a letter to the editor? Or to sing a song for your class? Perhaps, it's just to smile more often. What is it? What can you do? What will you do? It is not only the world that is waiting for you to show up fully. I dare say, so are you. If you would like some support in the transition, or just wish to share your thoughts, contact me. To your success -       Steve