Mindful Eating  - Part One 

Chronic Dieting - Misery by Any Other Name

Americans have gotten so focused on the alchemy of foods -- whether as an adjunct to losing weight or seeking health -- that we have neglected a very important role that eating plays in our lives -- provision of pleasure.
                                 -- Tribole & Resch, Intuitive Eating
 

Many people can listen to their cat more intelligently than they can listen to their own despised body.  Because they attend to their pet in a cherished way, it returns their love.  Their body, however, may have to let out an earth-shattering scream in order to be heard at all.
                                 -- Marion Woodman, The Pregnant Virgin
 

Dear Friend,

This is Part One in a series on Mindful Eating.  In the June 18 issue, I presented an overview of the Mindful Eating Program and what I'm learning.  If you haven't already, reading that issue first will put today's article into context.  (Remember: Most modern e-mail programs allow you to go directly to the web pages described by clicking your mouse on the links, which are typically underlined blue text.) 

Dieting - The bane of modern life
How much weight have you lost in your life?  How much weight have you gained?

How many diets have you been on?  Can you name them?

Perhaps some of these statements are familiar: 

• You decide you are too fat (or thin) and so must change your weight.  So you go on a diet.
• You're successful, everyone heaps praise on you, and you promptly gain it all back... and more.
• You're successful, no one notices, and you promptly gain it all back.
• You're partially successful, and you gain it all back.
• You eat a lot more the night before you launch your diet, and you're so convinced you're a failure you don't even start.
• You only eat:  protein, carbohydrates, fat, grapefruit, whole grains, fruits, pasta, fish, whatever.
• You only eat a certain amount.
• You only eat at certain times.
• You only eat certain foods in certain amounts at certain times!
• You assume every fat person has an eating problem and every thin person doesn't.
• You're no longer dieting, you're living a "lifestyle."  But somehow your lifestyle has a lot of rules.
• You're convinced your body is ugly and you have to weigh a certain amount to be attractive... and happy!
• You weigh yourself often.  Your scale is your enemy/friend.
• You have to look a certain way to be happy.
• You have cravings for what you're "not supposed to eat."

Repeat after me
Being healthy is not the same as being thin.
Being healthy is not the same as being thin.
Being healthy is not the same as being thin.

Get it?!

Eating When You're Hungry - A novel idea.
It might be hard to believe, but is it possible that once upon a time you knew how to eat when you were hungry and stop when you had had enough?   Most likely, there was a time you did just that.

That's the assumption of the various proponents of natural, or intuitive, eating.  We were born with the physiological and psychological ability to notice when we needed sustenance and when we didn't, and to act accordingly.

And then we lose it
And then, for one or many reasons, we stop believing or simply distrust that the simple mechanism we were born with was actually meant for us.  Maybe it was meant for some other people, maybe we were simply mistaken, or it could have been a cruel hoax. 

How did this happen?
Perhaps:
We were deprived of food.
We were told, "You can't be hungry now, you just ate!" or "Wait for dinner."
We were told, or simply decided, that we were fat, that we ate too much, that we were ugly.
We saw the ever-present images of youth and beauty in the popular culture: magazines, movies, TV.
We were given "helpful" suggestions, including weight-loss regimens, pills, or the hope of a quick fix.
We decided that "fat" was safer than "attractive," and simply lost track of our hunger signals.

I've experienced most of these.  How about you?

So what's the answer?
As with most things that are long-lived and prompted by multiple experiences, the "solution" has many parts and requires re-learning, experimentation, and support over time.

This is some of what I've learned so far:

• With good attention, I can actually tell when I'm hungry and give myself permission to eat.
• With good attention, I can also tell when I'm no longer hungry, and can give myself permission to stop eating.
• By giving myself permission to eat again as soon as I'm sufficiently hungry (in 5 minutes, should that be the case), I find I don't need to eat more now simply to ensure myself I won't "starve" before the next scheduled meal.
• I can eat what I enjoy and enjoy what I eat.  Just watch my eyes roll back when I enjoy a fine piece of chocolate or a warm-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookie!  Mmmm.
• Since no food is off limits, the cravings are more easily satisfied and don't carry the emotional baggage of eating a restricted food.
• I don't eat nearly as much "fun," low nutrient, food as I used to. 
• Really tasting the food fills me up faster.
• I don't waste my time eating just any old dessert.  All chocolate was not created equal.
• Likewise, I prepare the food I do eat so it tastes and appears as appetizing as possible.
• I'm actually a lot happier not knowing my weight.
• I don't expect perfection of myself.
• This is not the "Eat-when-you're-hungry, don't-eat-when-you're-not diet."  It's a process of learning and experimentation.  It's failure-free learning.
• The way I treat myself in relation to my body shape, weight, and eating is similar to the way I treat myself in relation to other goal-setting activities (such as exercise and chores).  How much do I want to push myself?  Will I exercise more consistently and over the long term if it's fun or if it's work?

Are you at peace with food?

A good starting place to learn more about changing your relationship with food is the inexpensive paperback, Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works (1995) by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch.  Look for it in your public library, local bookseller (start small), or get it online (see below).

I'll be writing about some other aspects of the Mindful Eating Program in the next several issues.

As always, I welcome your experiences, comments, and expertise.

May your journey be a good one -

   Steve

You may order from Amazon.com by clicking on this image.

If this doesn't work for you, e-mail me and I'll send you the link directly.

Find Previous Articles and Reader Contributions on my web site at archives. 

Go to Top
 

I welcome your comments, stories, quotes, reflections, and suggestions for future topics and enhancements.  Let me know whether I may post your contribution, and how you wish to be identified as the contributor.

I help business people and other dynamic folks stay on track to success.

Are you ready?  Call me at 315-472-0504 or toll-free at 1-888-832-8421 for a complimentary coaching session.  In one hour or less, you'll obtain greater clarity, deepen your understanding of your situation, and have initial steps in front of you.  And it's fun, to boot!  No obligation, no commitment, of course.  Nothing to lose... everything to gain. 

Or send an e-mail to: coach@stevereiter.com, or visit my web site at 
<a href=http://www.stevereiter.com>Click</a>

I offer all clients a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee.  Click on the logo to learn more.

The Reiter Coaching Letter is published by Steve Reiter on the first and third Tuesday of each month.  The purpose is to challenge you and support you in creating success and fulfillment throughout your life.

The names of newsletter subscribers will never be shared or sold.

Unless otherwise indicated, all content is written and edited by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC.  You are welcome to republish any or all parts of this newsletter; I ask only that you honor the copyright by including full acknowledgment, which includes the words "Copyright 2002, Reiter Coaching. All rights reserved." and a listing of my contact information (name, e-mail, web site).  Additionally, I would appreciate receiving a copy of the publication in which the article appears.

The Reiter Coaching Letter
Copyright (c) 2002, Reiter Coaching. All rights reserved.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1539-2309