The Reiter Coaching Letter

For Creating the Life You Want

Issue 18

www.stevereiter.com

June 18, 2002

Mindful Eating  - Overview

Many people can listen to their cat more intelligently than they can listen to their own despised body.  Because they attend to their pet in a cherished way, it returns their love.  Their body, however, may have to let out an earth-shattering scream in order to be heard at all.
                                 -- Marion Woodman, The Pregnant Virgin
 

Dear Friend,

First, I want you to know I received a bunch of responses to the previous newsletter, Gone Fishin'.  You can see some reader contributions from those that provided permission down below (click here).  The last response is particularly poignant for me, as it speaks to something I've been learning.

Mindful Eating
Two months ago, I was doing some networking, building on some relationships I had begun at a Holistic Health Fair back in March.  One of the folks I contacted was Dr. Lisa Kaufmann, the physician who directs the Mindful Eating Program at nearby SUNY Upstate Medical University.  As I listened to her talk about her program in more depth, I heard this little voice in my head speaking to me. 

"I need this," the voice said.  "I need this now!  Don't wait for the Fall."

It turns out I was smart enough to listen to that voice and joined the program two days later, one week after it started.

Who, Me Fat?
Most people who have seen me do not think I'm fat, and so would not suspect that food and I have "a history," if you know what I mean.  Yet, since I can remember, I have had a love-hate relationship with what I eat.  And while I may eat healthier foods than many folks, my attention to what I eat, how much I weigh, or how much lean mass I have takes up way too much of my energy.  And, until just recently, it has been never-ending.

Closing in on the last class, now, I have experienced unexpected and, dare I say, huge personal benefit.  The benefit is not only in the way I eat and the way I relate to food, but in the way I experience my life and the way I am in my life.
 

Two Examples
Here's an example regarding food.  Recently, I was chatting with one of our house guests after dinner when a strong desire to have ice cream for dessert quickly overcame me.  "I'll ask my guest if he would like some dessert," I thought.  "If he says 'yes,' then I'll be able to join him!" 

Having just read an article from the book The Zen of Eating, I was able to recognize this craving as merely a thought which I could choose to "let go" (more about this later).  To my surprise, immediately upon doing so the craving left me.  Cravings and desires arise frequently in our lives.  Would knowing how to cut off their power be useful to you?

And here's an example from my wider life.  Just a few weeks ago, I had been feeling quite grim about some mounting disappointments and pressures.  I became aware that I didn't have to be someone who feels grim in the face of disappointment and pressure; In fact, I could choose to feel any way I wished.  So I chose to lighten up.  It's not just that I behaved in a less grumpy manner, though that is important, for sure, but that I actually felt better.  Moreover, the shift came so swiftly, it was startling.
 

The Tool Kit
To Dr. Kaufmann's knowledge, The Mindful Eating Program is unique in that it combines "natural" or "intuitive" eating principles with Mindfulness Meditation training.  As with most things, it's not for everybody and each person will know if it's something to investigate.  And, of course, it's only offered in Syracuse.

But I'm a believer in offering people tools.  If it's the right time and the right tools are available, you'll pick one up and use it to build a better life (or world). 

So in the next few issues of the Coaching Letter, I'll be talking more in depth about how these new skills, practices, and concepts have affected me.  If you find them sufficiently intriguing and are  motivated to do so, you could assemble some of the pieces of this program from other natural eating and meditation training programs offered in your locale.

Imagine how would your life be better if you were able to be so "present in the current moment" that when faced with someone else's (non-physical) anger or a crisis you could respond with calmness and clarity of purpose.  Is that a "tool" you might choose to become adept at using?

What's coming up?
So these are the parts of the program that I'll be writing about in upcoming issues.  Please remember that I'll be writing from my own experience and my recently acquired understanding and awareness.  To be certain, I'm not claiming expertise.  One more thing: I'm not sure how the articles will take shape, so don't hold me to this format. 

• It is possible to re-learn, and to trust (yes, trust!), one's inborn ability to recognize true hunger, to eat when hungry and not eat when not hungry...  and not be rigid about it.
   
• Diets: Even the "healthy" ones create pitfalls.
   
• Mindfulness meditation:  How it supports the process of mindful eating and "a life not missed."
   
• Buddhism Basics: Change, "attachments," and "letting go."  Simple, yet not particularly easy to do in daily life, letting go of attachments is one fine skill to learn.  My understanding is that Buddhists consider it to be key in reducing personal suffering.  And it facilitates personal transformation and living in our ever-changing world, to boot!

As always, I welcome your experiences, comments, and expertise.

May your journey be a good one -

   Steve

Find Previous Articles and Reader Contributions on my web site at archives. 

I once told my dad (like me, a "non-fisherperson") that "fishing is a state of mind." 

     A. Winschel, Syracuse

As an avid reader of the Coaching Letter, I felt compelled to write you my reflection or comment, and if you want you can pass it on to other readers.  As you should well know, your philosophy states, "You (meaning me or whoever) must make the change that we want."  Well I did make a change!  I decided to be as nice to my family as I am to other people... something which my family kept telling me I wasn't doing.  I made a conscious decision to become a new me.  [My son] Zachary was actually scared for a while and thought maybe I was sick or dying because I was being so nice.  "No," I said.  "It is just the new me."  Well, Zachary started calling me "nume" ( sounds like New Me ). 

I had been delaying that decision and I am sure many others for years. I managed to make this change on my own.  It really is amazing that the hardest part is making the change.  Once
you decide on the action you are going to take, it is relatively easy to follow through (though I do have my slip ups).  I am sure with your help, myself and others could realize other goals, or at least get started toward those goals.  Of course I could have taken the easy way out -- one friend said, "Just be mean to everyone!!"

     Alan M., Philadelphia 
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I welcome your comments, stories, quotes, reflections, and suggestions for future topics and enhancements.  Let me know whether I may post your contribution, and how you wish to be identified as the contributor.

I help business people and other dynamic folks stay on track to success.

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The Reiter Coaching Letter is published by Steve Reiter on the first and third Tuesday of each month.  The purpose is to challenge you and support you in creating success and fulfillment throughout your life.

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Unless otherwise indicated, all content is written and edited by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC.  You are welcome to republish any or all parts of this newsletter; I ask only that you honor the copyright by including full acknowledgment, which includes the words "Copyright 2002, Reiter Coaching. All rights reserved." and a listing of my contact information (name, e-mail, web site).  Additionally, I would appreciate receiving a copy of the publication in which the article appears.

The Reiter Coaching Letter
Copyright (c) 2002, Reiter Coaching. All rights reserved.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1539-2309