The Reiter Coaching Letter - 3/19/02

The Reiter Coaching Letter

For Creating the Life You Want

Issue 13

www.stevereiter.com

March 19, 2002

The Reiter Coaching Letter: a bi-weekly newsletter of inspiration, resources, humor, and challenge... and a quick read.
Written & Published by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC www.stevereiter.com
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Jobs vs Life's Work

"... quite often we will make prisons out of companies and corporations by the way we choose to work in them... Is our work a way of forgetting what we're really about? Is it a way of keeping yourself busy so you're not facing up to perhaps difficult gateways of grief you might actually have to go through to get to your happiness?"

-- David Whyte *

Dear Friend,

What
There is something about the work experience that conspires with us to forget our dreams and our reason for being.

We yearn for happiness, but we work for dollars. For people who are working to survive, there is a numbness that often takes over, and there's a shift in our sensitivity to who we are and what holds meaning for us.

The vast majority of us aren't fortunate to be involved in fulfilling work. While this is a sad fact, for sure, I believe many are even a step farther removed from fulfilling work. That is: For most of our waking lives, we simply lose sight of the fact that there is something more meaningful for us out there. In the day to day grind of preparing for work, working, and winding down from work, there is precious little energy remaining to entertain the questions, "Just why am I doing this?" and "How is what I spend most of my living moments doing an expression of who I am?"

Why
I believe David Whyte, in his quote at the top, is suggesting that in "waking up" to the reality of how much more there is, one would need to experience grief due to the many years already lost, never to be reclaimed. That's enough of The Why.

How
In the initial coaching sessions with my new clients, we spend a good amount of time looking at how they might describe what I (and others) call their Life Purpose. Most people either chuckle nervously or groan when this topic is raised. I admit that I, too, have voiced that telltale groan when it was my turn with my own coach. It's just hard to look at.

After a while, though, the looking can get downright interesting, especially as we try to encapsulate their Life Purpose in a metaphor of 10 words or less! For example: "I am the jester whose lightness makes all things happen easily." (I know, it's 11 words, but I just made it up.) One's metaphor is a work in progress, naturally, as we continue to deepen our understanding of ourselves and evolve new ways of being over time.

But there is real power in a finely crafted Purpose metaphor. It holds the power to refocus you, to instantly remind you of what you're "here for." So your choices, now "informed" by your Purpose, are clearer and easier to make, and lead to ever-increasing fulfillment. Cool!

I admit that this has the ring of some newly invented spirituality, but it's not. (And if you feel the need to argue that point, I'll just say, "So? It works!")

Tools
There are many nearly-classic questions to initiate this conversation of Life Purpose. You've probably come across some yourself. Here are just two:

Imagine for a moment...there is somebody trying to sell you your life's story on videotape right now... would you buy it? If your answer is "no," why not? If it's "yes," would you share your life's story with the world?
What accomplishments or measurable events must, in your opinion, occur during your lifetime so that you will consider your life to have been satisfying and well-lived, a life of few or no regrets?

I encourage you to search for clarity of your Life Purpose. You won't be disappointed.

If you wish further elaboration of these concepts and "tools," are curious about how they would impact your life, or have been knocking this about yourself and would like to share ideas, please do get in touch with me.

Take good care -

Steve

* David Whyte is a poet who takes poetry into the workplace. I first heard him speak in 2000, when he presented at a coaching conference I attended. His words and manner of presenting his ideas moved me... enough that I bought a bunch of his tapes to give as gifts. You can find his work (including tapes of selected talks) through his website at www.davidwhyte.com. I'll be writing more of him in the future, I'm sure.

I found the above quote on a brochure advertising a film series with David Whyte.

Reader Contributions

The March 5 issue of the Letter ("Endurance") brought the following response from a reader (I didn't hear back from him with permission to publish his name, unfortunately, but think he'd like his contribution included):

Here are two related quotes that are life-affirming, yet act as "cautionary tales" if you don't have your act together:

If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you will be deeply unhappy for the rest of
your life
-- Abraham Maslow

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not
bring forth will destroy you.
-- St. Thomas

Find Previous Articles and Reader Contributions on my web site at archives.

I welcome your comments, stories, quotes, reflections, and suggestions for future topics and enhancements. Let me know whether I may post your contribution, and how you wish to be identified as the contributor.

I help business people and other dynamic folks stay on track to success.

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The Reiter Coaching Letter is published by Steve Reiter on the first and third Tuesday of each month. The purpose is to challenge you and support you in creating success and fulfillment throughout your life.

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