Reiter Coaching Letter - 12/18/01 - Creating Priceless Traditions/TITLE>

The Reiter Coaching Letter

For Creating the Life You Want

Issue 7

www.stevereiter.com

December 18, 2001

The Reiter Coaching Letter: a bi-weekly newsletter of inspiration, resources, humor, and challenge... and a quick read.
Written & Published by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC www.stevereiter.com
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Do not become paralyzed and enchained by the set patterns which have been woven of old. No, build from your own youthful feeling, your own groping thought, and your own flowering perception -- and help to further that beauty which has grown from the roots of tradition...
-- Lotte Lehmann (from More Than Singing, 1945)

The longer I live the more keenly I feel that whatever was good enough for our fathers is not good enough for us.
-- Oscar Wilde

Creating Priceless Traditions

Dear Friend,

It is rare that a holiday season passes without some upset in my house. With clashes between traditions and lack of tradition, quandaries around gift-giving, and the desire to participate in the myriad parties and events... Whew! How does one keep focused on what's important?

"Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents." -- Louisa May Alcott (Little Women, Pt.1 1868)
As a Jew in a predominantly Christian land, it has been particularly easy for me to notice the strong connection our culture draws between one's buying power and happiness, a connection which becomes pronounced around the "traditions" of gift-giving during the winter holidays. Of course, Jews haven't been the only ones to notice this connection. And I'll be the first to admit that we are not free of our own interesting brand of misplaced values.

Not just Christmas, Charlie Brown
But Christmas commercialism, while an easy target, is just one example of how we've lost contact with real meaning in our celebrations. The ease with which we as a culture have lost sight of "the real meaning of" Christmas -- or Thanksgiving or Valentine's Day or Labor Day or Memorial Day -- is astounding.

Historical accuracy aside, I believe that if you stop someone on the street and force them to tell you about it, they can tell you that the meaning of Memorial Day is to memorialize those who have died during wars. But in general, it's just a welcome 3-day weekend. Similarly, Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks; but most of the time we don't think about it: it's about eating lots, watching a parade or sports, perhaps, and being with family.

You know, I would love to transform the world to be filled with people who truly understand the historical and socio-political contexts in which they live. But I will be satisfied for the moment if I can remember, and act on, what I truly believe is important from one day to the next!

So when I remember, I seek to clarify what it is that I want to be creating in my celebrations, both for myself and for others.

A web site that I have found to be valuable in my ongoing attempt to create meaningful celebrations is www.simpleliving.org. It offers historical perspectives, ideas for alternative celebrations, and more on their resources pages.

Your turn

Choose one or more of the following items having the most oomph for you.

What is right with how you celebrate? What do you want to keep?
In relation to this holiday, how are you no longer creating what is important to you ?
Write a paragraph or two describing a time in the past when this holiday's celebration was unexpectedly wonderful.
- What made it so?
- What insights, wisdom, or actions do you want to "capture" for the future?
If you could celebrate this holiday in ANY way, how would you do it?
Finish this sentence:
- I miss......................................................
- I miss......................................................
- I miss......................................................
The part of myself that I keep hidden during this holiday is [what?]...........................................................
Next year, I'll do it differently. I promise myself.
- I will.........................................................
- I will.........................................................
- I will.........................................................
Right now, I choose to do the following to mold this celebration according to my wishes.
- ................................................................
- ................................................................
- ................................................................

Update on my request for Reader Contributions and Input

New! Postings of Reader Contributions on my web site.
In the last issue, I asked for your participation. Since then, I received several reader contributions. I have been playing with how to bring them to you, and have decided to place Reader Contribution pages directly on my web site. Let's see if you find it valuable and it becomes sufficiently popular.

For the time being, I will post these reader contributions together with the archives of this Letter. Each page will include submissions received prior to that date (for which permission to include has been granted) .

New! Instant response.
As an added bonus, you can also request a plain-text e-mail of the most recent set of reader contributions by sending an e-mail to recent@stevereiter.com. You'll receive it in a few moments from my autoresponder.

Brief Summary of the 12/18 Reader Contributions:

Two responses to the 12/4 Letter, reflecting on Asking for Help.

An interesting reflection on one reader's shift since returning home from supporting corporate survivors of the World Trade Center destruction, including a Poem by Christopher Fry.

Encore Presentation

Finally, because some people don't read every issue (Imagine!), I am repeating my request that you become involved by sharing yourself. So I am asking you to

Send me:
Stories, vignettes, quotations, and short essays that speak to you in some important way.

And tell me...
What do you want to hear about in the near future?
What issues are you "dancing" with at the moment?
On what issues would additional perspectives be valuable?

I'd like to be able to thank the people who help me out. So when you send personal stories, please let me know if I have your permission to include your submission in future newsletters and whether you wish attribution or prefer to remain anonymous. Similarly, if you forward quotations or the writings of others, let me know if I may mention your name as the contributor.

May Peace be with you.

Steve

Want more satisfaction and fulfillment in your life? Looking to simplify your day-to-day living? I can help. To explore the value of Life Coaching for you, call 315-472-0504 for a complimentary coaching session. Or e-mail to: coach@stevereiter.com, or visit my web site at
<a href=http://www.stevereiter.com>Click</a>

The Reiter Coaching Letter is published by Steve Reiter on the first and third Tuesday of each month. The purpose is to challenge you and support you in creating success and fulfillment throughout your life.

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Unless otherwise indicated, all content is written and edited by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC. You are welcome to republish any or all parts of this newsletter; I ask only that you honor the copyright by including full acknowledgment and a listing of my contact information (name, e-mail, web site).