I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking,
and then I thought:  What good would that do?
                                                          --Ronnie Shakes
 
 

Getting Unstuck

Dear Friend,

I was noticing, yesterday, that sometimes I make my life harder than it needs to be.  At those times, it seems that I don't need anyone or anything else to help make things hard for me.  "I've taken care of it already, thank you very much."
 

If the shoe doesn't fit, don't blame the foot.

I became aware that I make my life harder as I struggled to write an article for this issue.  It's not that I didn't have a topic.  In fact, I adore the topic on which I had planned to write.  But for most of the last week, my eyes have been really tired and I've had a headache... and it has been really difficult for me to focus my thoughts to get started on anything that doesn't demand my attention.  Writing doesn't demand my attention (until the deadline draws near, of course).

All my clients were packed into the morning.  Then, I pulled out my trusty keyboard to begin writing this article.  Nothing.
 

Success is a journey, not a destination.
                                                              -- Ben Sweetland

Hours passed as I failed to focus my thoughts; instead, I filled my time with other productive, though relatively mindless and automatic tasks (like e-mail, justifying my checking accounts, making phone calls).  Finally, just before it got dark, I hopped on my bike and rode to the credit union to do my banking.  With temperatures in the 60's, it was, perhaps, the last day this fall for a comfortable ride.  Today it's snowing.
 

It's easier to ride a horse in the direction in which it is going.
                                                              -- Werner Erhardt

I was hardly up the first rise before my mind cleared enough for me to see what had been happening:  I had been locked in a battle of my own making, a battle of the "right" way versus the "easy" way.  (The right way meant writing on the topic I had planned.  The easy way is... well, a way that's easier.)

Then, only moments later came the second stroke of clarity: What a perfect topic for my newsletter!  I would have been better served taking this ride sooner, right?
 

The Wonderfulness of Perspectives

What happened here is that I got a fresh perspective.  Unlike me, you don't have to wait all day to get one.

In part, the sense of being stuck comes from experiencing the approach we are taking as the only one possible.  Yet, most times, there are multiple ways we can view what's ahead of us. 

For example, in the midst of wrestling with the article that I "should" write, I was holding a perspective that said: I read this great book, so I must write about what I learned now, before it fades.  Starting to think that this was evidence of a character flaw of some sort, I began to wonder whether putting off writing until the next day was more accurately described as giving up, procrastination, or even simple laziness.

But here are some other perspectives:

• My thoughts aren't coming together; forcing it will lead to unsatisfying results.
• To be sustainable, writing this newsletter has to be fun, fulfilling, AND easy.
• I've got to push my way through this "resistance" and can't let myself take a break until I do.
• Taking a break and getting my body moving will be invaluable.
• My readers won't care if I skip an issue.
• Heck, I can even plagiarize an article off the internet and no one will be the wiser.
• Grant myself permission to be imperfect/inconsistent; it will be a good example for my readers.
• Go with the energy; there is a lot to be learned.
• My readers are expecting valuable content.
• Writing this newsletter was a mistake from the "getgo."  And here is just one more bit of proof.
• Committing to a long-term project such as this newsletter is testimony that I "walk my talk."
• Mastery of writing, like mastery of any other skill, does not proceed in a straight line up to the right.

Which is correct?

You can see that many of these perspectives, while similar in their positive affirmation of my commitment and purpose, suggest very different actions. 

While the truth is that I didn't have the presence of mind to view my choices from these perspectives, it is clear, nevertheless, that they existed all along.  The trick is to step back, take a look, and make a choice, rather than adopting the strategy of "press on, regardless."
 

Your turn.

When you're stuck, burned out, or unmotivated:

1. Create a list of varying perspectives that clearly state your position and varying options.
2. Get help from others, if needed, especially if you can't see more than four possible perspectives.
3. Try each on for size.  Ask yourself: What would it be like for me to do it this way?  What values would I be honoring/not honoring?  What kind of support or understanding can I garner from those around me?  What else do I need to be successful from this perspective?
4. Choose one perspective to base your actions upon.
5. Ask yourself: What will get in the way of me moving forward from this perspective?  What supports do I need to put in place to maximize my chance of success?
6. Finally: Commit to your plan.  Yes, really: "I, (your name), commit to [blah blah blah]."  Some things you just need to say out loud... to another person.

May Peace be with you.

 Steve

Want more satisfaction and fulfillment in your life?  Looking to simplify your day-to-day living?  I can help.  To explore the value of Life Coaching for you, call 315-472-0504 for a complimentary coaching session.  Or e-mail to: coach@stevereiter.com, or visit my web site at 
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The Reiter Coaching Letter is published by Steve Reiter on the first and third Tuesday of each month.  The purpose is to challenge you and support you in creating success and fulfillment throughout your life.

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Unless otherwise indicated, all content is written and edited by Steve Reiter, MS, PCC.  You are welcome to republish any or all parts of this newsletter; I ask only that you honor the copyright by including full acknowledgment and a listing of my contact information (name, e-mail, web site).

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